


Time Is Just A War Stealing Dreams From Within

by brokenhighways



Series: Happy Endings [8]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-15 01:59:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1286974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What exactly are we doing here?” Jared asks. Jensen gives him a puzzled look. “I mean, us, here. Are we here as friends or...are we back together? I...need to know.” Jared hates being so blunt about it, but he’d like to actually enjoy a day with Jensen like he used to without worrying about saying the wrong thing or touching when he’s not supposed to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Is Just A War Stealing Dreams From Within

Jared hates buying gifts, and according to Jensen, he’s terrible at it anyway. So for the longest time they’ve always just bought joint gifts. Since they broke up, Katie’s been helping him in that department but by some sort of mutual silent agreement, they decide to look for a gift for Danneel’s engagement party. Jared hasn’t meant her fiancé yet, but Jensen has and he apparently hates the guy. Jared doubts that will deter Danneel (the group hating prospective other’s is pretty standard by now) but he imagines that she probably doesn’t appreciate them judging her relationship. Not that Jared’s said anything; he and Danneel haven’t really had all that much one-on-one interaction since he broke up with Jensen. It’s partly why he’s a little reluctant about going to her party. 

“What about this?” Jensen says, holding up a truly hideous vase. They haven’t really talked much about _them_ and Jared feels a little out of place in this home outlet store, doing something that they used to do as a couple. Are they together _together_ or just on the brink? He isn’t sure. 

“What exactly are we doing here?” Jared asks. Jensen gives him a puzzled look. “I mean, _us_ , here. Are we here as friends or...are we back together? I...need to know.” Jared hates being so blunt about it, but he’d like to actually enjoy a day with Jensen like he used to without worrying about saying the wrong thing or touching when he’s not supposed to. 

Jensen sets the vase down and eyes Jared carefully. He feels bad for putting Jensen on the spot like this, though he knows that they do need to talk about this. “Well...when you said _together_ I thought you meant that we were doing this…” Jensen’s voice trails off and Jared mentally adds _taking the leap, a risk and trying to put the pieces back together again._

"Do we have to discuss this now?" Jensen asks. He picks up a weird looking metal object and starts to examine it. Jared is unable to resist snatching it out of his hand, forcing Jensen to look at him. He decides to just go for it and be the one to bring it up. If only so he doesn't go crazy with anxiety over this whole situation. It's been a draining year and Jared is ready to be happy again, with Jensen. 

"We kinda do, man," he says. "Didn't we agree that we would actually start talking? Or are we just…not doing this? And while we're talking about talking, I kissed you. What are your thoughts on that?" 

"That you probably made me a whole lot sicker," Jensen says, but he's smiling a little and Jared feels some of his tension melt away. "I thought we covered this when I said that we'd go to Danneel's thing together."

Jared raises an eyebrow. "All you said was 'Sounds good to me'. Which isn't very clear." 

Jensen rolls his eyes but concedes the point. He rubs the back of his neck slightly, and Jared can tell that he's nervous. He decides to take pity on him. 

"You're right," Jared says. "We can discuss this later." He goes to pick up a random item from the shelf just so he isn't left standing there, feeling stupid for ruining what had started off as a good day. Jensen's hand on his arm stops him in his tracks. 

"Wait," Jensen says, his voice a little hoarse. "You're right, we should talk about it now. Not talking about stuff was one of the nails in our coffin before."

"Coffin analogy?" Jared whines. "That's seven years bad luck right there, man. For both of us." Jared learnt a long time ago that believing that ghosts were real was a mood lifter. Namely everyone but him gathers together to laugh at him for being so quirky and "delusional". He's glad to see that it still works on Jensen, who huffs out a breathy laugh and manages to stop looking so nervy. 

"You'll get over it," Jensen replies. "And I guess I'll just go first. I thought that when you said together, you meant....together _together_. I mean....that's what you meant, right? You want to get back together."

Jared's not sure if his sigh of relief is audible, but he doesn't care either way. 

"Of course I do," he says. "You...you do as well, right?" Jared winces at how stupid he sounds. They're grown men, not teenagers, but you wouldn't know it based on this conversation. 

Jensen grins. "You don't even need to ask. I seem to remember trying to win you back. Hell yeah, I do."

"That's that then," Jared says softly. "We're officially Jared and Jensen 2.0".

Jensen wrinkles his nose. "I feel like ‘2.0’ is overdone these days. How about we just go back to being plain old Jared and Jensen?"

~

They decide not to tell the rest of the group, which isn't all that hard to do when they think about all the meddling they've been victims of. It does kind of make it hard to spend time together, because Danneel keeps inviting them to the bar so she can brag about her great fiancé and soon-to-be-amazing engagement party. 

"Oh my god," Chad is whining as Jared gets back to the table, with Jensen hot on his heels. "Somebody shoot me." Danneel and Katie are squealing over something while Aldis, Chris and Chad watch them with blank looks on their faces. Jared can't help being amused. He got that face a lot when he was planning his wedding. At the thought of that, he turns to look at Jensen when the drinks are set on the table and they're seated. Jensen's already looking at him, and Jared knows that he's thinking the same thing. *That was us last year*, even if Jensen had been mostly hands-off during planning. 

Jensen snorts. "How's finding rent money going, Chad." Chad slams a hand on the table effectively silencing Katie and Danneel. 

"I knew I was forgetting something," he says with a mischievous glint in his eye. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a money clip and hands it to Jared. Jared doesn't even bother counting it. He just stares at it. 

"Did you rob a bank without me?!" Chris asks. They all turn to stare at him. 

"What?" he says defensively. "I always thought that I'd be fucking badass at pulling off a heist."

Danneel rolls her eyes. "You have a problem.

Chris grins. "You say problem, I say daredevil personality."

"Can we get back to the fact that Chad has money?" Aldis asks. "Just last week I had to go to the bakery and pay for a Danish that he'd already eaten."

Chad shrugs nonchalantly. "I'll never tell." They try to get something out of him but Chad doesn't spill a word. Jared just hopes that his best friend isn't involved in something shady. He pockets the money clip. 

~

It's late when he finishes counting out three months rent in the form of the bills that Chad had given him. He's just locked his deposit box when his eyes catch on the money clip. Before he knows what he's doing, he's grabbed and put on his shoes and is standing in front of Jensen's apartment. 

"What’s the matter," Jensen says blearily when he sees Jared. "Did Chad set the apartment on fire?"

Jared can't help laughing. "That was _one_ time." 

"Laugh it up, buddy," Jensen says, sounding a lot more awake. "Lest we forget that someone shed tears that night." 

Jared pouts. It's not his fault that some people don't think that the near loss of an apartment is a traumatic experience. He's always been _emotional_.

"Anyway," he says. "So you paid Chad money so he could pay the rent." 

"What?" Jensen feigns innocence. Jared raises an eyebrow. "Fine, fine. I did pay him.” Jared frowns. He can’t imagine Chad doing a job for Jensen and surviving to tell the tale.

“All will be revealed in good time,” Jensen adds, when he catches Jared looking at him. Jared decides to let it go for now, even though he thinks the timing is suspect. He mostly feels stupid for running over here because of a stupid money clip.

“Alright,” he says after a moment. “I guess I’ll be off.” Jensen looks surprised at that and Jared feels even stupider.

“I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow,” he jokes. “Danneel will probably throw a fit if I have huge bags under my eyes on her special day.”

“Uh-huh,” Jensen says uncertainly. There’s another lull as they regard each other silently.

“I’ll...go then.” 

He leaves before Jensen can say anything. 

~

Jared's halfway down the street when he turns back to see Jensen chasing after him. He stops and starts to walk back. 

"Don't I get a goodnight kiss?" Jensen asks, a little breathlessly. 

Jared grins. 

~

Jared ends up sleeping past his alarm, and well into the afternoon, eventually waking up at five pm. Danneel's party starts at six. He groans as he drags himself out of bed. He pads out of his room and into the main area of the apartment. Chad's on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal and watching cartoons. He tells Jared that Jensen called to say that he was going straight to Dani's after work. 

"So what did you help Jensen with, that he gave you all that money?" Jared asks. 

"Ask him," Chad says unhelpfully. 

Jared throws a cushion at his head but it bounces off the edge of the couch. "I did!" Chad merely smirks and tosses it back, whooping loudly when it actually connects with the side of Jared's head. 

"I hate you," he mumbles. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for Danneel's party?"

"I'm a habitual latecomer, I show up whenever I want, bitch," Chad says. "But yeah, we really should get a move on. I have a good feeling about this party."

Jared stares at him. "You said the same thing about Sandy's wedding."

Chad's eyes light up. "Exactly!" Jared throws the cushion again; this time he doesn't miss. 

It's later when they're walking to Danneel's place that Chad asks about Jensen. 

"What's up with you two? You've been kind of chummy of late. And there was that whole sharing a bed while you were sick thing, and you're always over there these days."

Jared clears his throat uncomfortably. "We are friends. I spend just as much time at Katie and Aldis' place. And I would spend as much time at Chris', but that place is unsanitary. He's more of a pig than you are." Chad laughs at that, but Jared doesn't miss the way his gaze turns serious. 

"I hope things work out for you two," he says knowingly. Before Jared can respond, a car horn sounds loudly, causing him and Chad to look up. They come face to face with Jeff, Jared's ex-boss. 

"You guys on your way to your friend's engagement party?" he asks. "I can give you a ride if you want."

That's how Jared and Chad end up exchanging baffled looks as they sit in the back of Jeff's truck. He wasn't aware that Jeff knew Danneel well enough to get an invite to her party, plus he's always kind of hated Jared's friends, if his numerous statements to that effect are to be believed. 

"So," Chad says into the awkward silence. "How do you know Danneel, man?" 

"We hung out a couple of times," Jeff says easily, though it is immediately clear that it wasn't as casual as he's making it sound. 

"Oh," Chad says. "So what are your thoughts on this whole wedding deal?" 

"Maybe it's a shotgun wedding, because a little one's on the way?" Jeff replies. Jared turns to look at Chad. They both crack up after a couple of seconds. 

"If she was pregnant the world and its mother would know," Jared says in between laughter. 

"She'd probably hire a skywriter," Chad chuckles. "Or project the good news on a skyscraper. Something sky related." 

"Or buy out all the ad space in a newspaper crazy enough to let her!"

"Local radio announcement?" They fall about laughing until they realize that Jeff is staring at them oddly via his rearview mirrors. 

Jared clears his throat. "I take it that you're not a fan of pile ons1?" 

Jeff shakes his head. "You people are weird."

"You know, I wish she'd at least picked a decent guy to have her first failed marriage with,” Chad muses quietly. Jared feels a pang in his chest as he thinks about what would have happened if he’d gone through with his wedding. 

“From what I know, she was thrown for a loop when Jared’s wedding didn’t work out,” Jeff says. “She thought you guys were the perfect couple, blah, blah and she wanted what you had.” Jared frowns. Maybe that explains why things have been so off between them ever since. And maybe that explains why things between her and Jeff didn’t work out. Jeff strikes Jared as the slow-burner/perpetually unattached kind of guy. He doesn’t think he’s ever even heard of a time where Jeff had a _date_. Danneel’s the kind of girl who needs someone to be devoted to her right away. Jared’s never really understood why. 

“She’s just pissed that her pantry intervention didn’t work out,” Chad says without looking up from his phone. 

~

Danneel’s fiancé is kind of terrible. He barely acknowledges Chad when they get there and he greets Jared with an air of disinterest before going back to laughing snidely with his banker buddies. He and Danneel met when she was doing some PR work for the bank that he works at. Jared can see exactly why they’d need it. What gets Jared is the look on her face as she watches him basically ignore her in favour of his friends. She looks crushed, but she still hovers by them so she can drag Mark away from his friends every five seconds when someone comes over to greet them. Jared hates the idea that his relationship falling about is the reason why Danneel is willing to settle for a guy who seemingly doesn’t pay her that much attention.

"Do we have a betting pool set up for this?" Jensen asks from where he's standing next to Jared. They've been holed up in a corner with Katie, Chad and Chris on account of the fact that they don't know anyone else here. 

"I've got fifty dollars on them not lasting another month," Chad says. 

"Me and Aldis have got that much on two months," Katie adds. 

Jensen laughs. "I give it two weeks." Jared whacks him on the arm because, hello, wedding jinx. Jensen gives him a look that says _you're being ridiculous_ , followed by one that says _don't be too obvious_. Jared takes a step away.

"I'm not going to stoop to your level," he says. "Who knows, they might actually be good for each other and get married and live a long and..." they all start laughing as he trails off. 

"Fine, put us down for two weeks," he says. 

Naturally, his use of pronoun doesn’t bypass Katie, but she doesn’t say anything. The look she gives him is enough. He’s saved from any potentially awkward conversation by Danneel coming over and asking to talk to him.

“So, what do you think?” she asks, when they’re in the privacy of her kitchen. 

“About what?” Jared asks. 

She rolls her eyes. “Mark.” Jared’s mind instantly goes blank. 

“Uh, well...he’s not ugly?” Yeah, Jared’s not really good at hiding what he really feels.

“You don’t like him either?” Danneel says. She reaches down and pulls a bottle out of her wine fridge. “Typical.”

“I think we all just want what’s best for you,” Jared says as she pops the cork. “I know we do. And that guy probably isn’t it. Nor is rushing into a marriage for a stupid reason.”

Danneel takes a sip of her wine. “Right. Wanting to be happy is stupid. That’s why you called off _your_ wedding.” Jared does his best to push down the flare of anger that rises in his chest. It’s not about him, or even him and Danneel and the remnants of their friendship. It’s about her.

“This has nothing to do with me and Jensen,” he tells her. “It’s about you wanting to marry a guy who isn’t even paying attention to you on your night. How the hell is it going to be when you’re married?”

“At least somebody wants to marry me,” she shoots back. “And I’m not going to take that for granted.” Jared can almost hear the unspoken _unlike some_ , but he grits his teeth and tries to make her see sense.

“It doesn’t only matter if someone wants to marry _you_ ,” he says. “What also matters is whether or not you want to marry them?”

“I...I mean, why wouldn’t I?” Danneel’s voice is shaky, unsure and Jared can tell that he’s getting somewhere. “I know what you’re doing. But it’s not going to work.”

“Fine,” Jared says. “If you love this guy, marry him, have 2.5 kids, and get someone to make a white picket fence for you. Hell _I’ll_ get you the damn fence. So long as you’re sure.” Her face falters at ‘love’ and Jared knows that he’s got her right where he wants her. Part of him hates that he’s sort of meddling, the same way they’d done when it came to him and Jensen, but part of him believes that this is the right thing to do. 

“I’ll think about what you’ve said,” is all she says, but Jared knows that he’s set the wheels in motion. “Oh and...I’m sorry for icing you out...since the whole you ditching Jensen thing. I just always looked up to you guys and it sucked to see you guys hurting, when it looked like you were being stupid and freaking out over nothing." 

"It's forgotten," Jared replies, because it is. And he hopes that she figures it out with Mark before she gets seriously hurt. 

~

Three weeks and one broken engagement later, Jared finds himself at Jensen’s apartment, yawning loudly as the end credits of _Love Actually_ roll. He knows what’s coming next, because it’s the same every time he’s here. Jensen’s going to ask him to say and Jared’s going decline and use Chad as an excuse. In Jared’s defence, making sure that his best friend doesn’t burn down their apartment is a pretty solid reason. Though, it is mostly trepidation and nerves that keep him from staying. He doesn’t think that they should rush whatever it is that they’re doing; doesn’t think that any good is to be had from trying to pick up where they left off. Life doesn’t work like that. 

“I take it you’re not staying?” Jensen’s tone is amiable enough but Jared can hear the underlying tension. Jensen takes it personally every time Jared says that he has to go and he doesn’t know how to fix that. 

“I can’t,” Jared says. “Not yet.” It’s the first time that he hasn’t given some excuse; the first time he’s really come to terms with the fact that he’s scared shitless about what staying over means. Sure, he’d spent time here when he was sick, but that was with Chad as a buffer. If he stays over once, that will turn into twice, three times and so on and he’s not sure if he’s ready for that. Scratch that, he definitely isn’t ready.

“I hate staying in this place by myself Jensen admits quietly. “It’s always going to be _our_ apartment, and it’s not going to feel like home until you come back.”

Jared shifts on the couch so that he can look at Jensen directly. “It’s not going to be forever. Just...until I’m sure that this will work. I know that I should be already but I can’t help it, I’m _freaking_ out.”

“Why?” Jensen looks puzzled and Jared’s not surprised that he doesn’t get it. 

“Because, we’re starting over from scratch and I don’t want to make any rash decisions that’ll fuck everything up.”

Jensen scoffs. “It’s been ten years, Jared. There is no ‘starting from scratch’. I know you. You know me. I want you right here with me _all the time_. And I get that you’re not ready, but I wish you’d just tell me the reasons instead of making me drag it out of you.”

Jared nods gently. Jensen’s right. Perhaps old habits die hard. He thinks about what Danneel said about him being stupid and freaking out over nothing. Is that what he’s doing now? He lived in this apartment for five years. Why is he so scared at the mere prospect of staying the night? It’s not the sex thing, at least he doesn’t think he is. Jared doesn’t think either of them are quite _there_ yet. At most they’d just fool around a little and Jared hasn’t had a problem with that. 

“Why are you so insistent on getting me to stay?” he asks, because as much as he believes that Jensen is lonely here, that doesn’t feel like the only reason. And if there’s one thing that Jared’s learnt from all of this, it’s that he has to ask the questions that he maybe doesn’t want to, and get answers that he might not like. He has to communicate with Jensen if he wants this to work. 

“Every time you leave I worry that you won’t come back,” Jensen mutters quietly. “My mind flashes back to that day you packed a bag and said you were staying at Chad’s and...I don’t want to go through that kind of hurt again. And I know...I _know_ that you’re not going to do that, but I can’t help worrying.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jared says defiantly. “I’m not. I’ll stay today if that’s the reassurance that you need, but I just need a little more time before I’m ready to _stay_. For good. If you’ll have me.”

Jensen’s eyes widen. “You want to move back in?” His face burst into a huge smile and Jared can’t help reciprocating, because, yeah, he does. In time.

“Only after you tell me what it was that Chad did for you,” Jared says teasingly. 

Jensen taps his nose slyly. “You’ll find out in time, young padawan!” Jared rolls his eyes but he doesn’t pull away when Jensen leans forward, and pulls him in for a kiss. It’s urgent and bruising, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths, while they press against each other. It’s full of promise, love and hope and Jared finally starts to feel like everything just might be okay again. 

Sometimes one has to go through a storm just to see if they can hold on, and Jared doesn’t plan on ever letting go. From the looks of things, neither does Jensen. And that’s all that matters. 

~

1 **pile-ons** : razzing a friend by making something they’ve done/would so something worse than what it is and mocking them relentlessly...with love :)


End file.
